no friends, not one. no messages from anyone, no calls, silence. my social media is dry. It’s like I am infected or something. like what did I do? I tried again and again to be so kind, funny & caring and it’s like I’m left alone again? And again? “It will get better you’ll find friends in college.” College was the most depressing time of my life. I made friends, but I wasn’t their friend. I was someone who was avaliable when needed, available when they were alone and their other friends weren’t there. being alone for over a year, really is playing mind games. it’s like in all those “friendships” I had, I was there for them, checking up on them. and now since schools done. Silence, from everyone of them. and that’s what I don’t get. should I just be rude from now on? Change how kind I am to people? Stop being so nice? Stop trying to perfect my words? I don’t fucking know. I probably never will know. I hope I make friends soon. but this feels awful.