A few years ago during the pandemic it was as if I was about to fall into a crazy person rabbit hole where I would watch tarot videos for fun and try manifesting stuff. I never believed the tarot and did not believe in manifesting as some type of magic but just really hoped it was real in some way. I'm a very rational and logical person, but I was very bored and lonely at the time in high school with no friends. So uh anyway my mom found all that "Dear Universe" crap (while "cleaning" my room - I know because she moved it) where I laid out my deepest desires, and she probably secretly thinks I am somehow disturbed even as a real adult. I was just lonely bro, I wanted to feel like something had my back