I don't even know how to process what I am feeling. My anxiety has been so high lately I almost wonder if i have crossed into the realm of OCD? Sleepless nights, all consuming thoughts throughout the day. And all because I cant stop the people around me from aging and falling apart. My Bio Father messaged me on my birthday explaining he was in the hospital and was wanted to "put a bullet in his face" and I'm slowly watching my moms health fall apart in front of my eyes. And my grandfather is really starting to show his age. And I don't take loss well and it is really starting to get to me. It's effecting my everyday mood, motivation and personal health with my own auto disorder. I want to get help but the resorces are hard to access. I don't want to tell my mom about it because I don't want her to feel guilty because I know she is dealing with her own struggle knowing she will never " get better ". And all I want to do is cry. Constantly. It hits randomly, like a gut twisting punch....