my friends will never understand what it’s like to feel undesirable, and I can never speak to them about this all of them have had someone who’s had a crush on them, who’s dated someone, who’s had reciprocal feelings even if it didn’t lead anywhere I never have experienced that nobody ever confessed to me or rumored to like me unless it was at the expense to tease me for being so unloveable in the times I confessed my feelings I was either rejected or strung along to fill some void in them—never as a mutual, but as a dog who’s expected to be satisfied at every command purely because they know I’d be devoted to them there’s times I wish I could be lusted over just to feel like someone truly does see me and wants me, someone desires me for whatever purpose rather than to just kept around like some sentient tool to fix what’s broken with them I know theres other people I’ve yet to meet but I don’t think any of them will love me