When I was in 4th grade my older brother attempted suicide and kept attempting until I was a freshman in HS. I will never forget how it felt coming home the day my brother moved in with his mom (before his attempt). He wrote it on a red construction paper with sharpie. For a large chunk of my life, figuring out who I am simultaneously getting bullied, I felt like a I had very little support at home since the focus was mainly on my brother. I love him deeply but that definitely left a very deep wound. They found him hanging in the garage just in time to save him. I often contemplate suicide myself. I have three older siblings, My mom and my cat, that is it. No friends or close family near me and every day is a battle. Sometimes I tell myself , once my mom and my cat is gone I will follow suit. No one seems to care about me the way I care about them so id rather just stop all together. Im too pure hearted for this place.