i hate myself so much, my teeth are wonky, my hair never looks how i like it, i trained to be able to defend those i love and yet i never stand up for them. i doubt my depression because i dont think i deserve to be depressed and struggle to communicate with people. im always the therapist trying to help people but never get the chance to be the patient. my friend group feels better without me. i took the day off school yesterday and some of them said they didnt even notice i was gone. i pushed away the only person that really understands me and i feel like im better off alone, which i already feel like i am. i am truly and utterly dead inside.
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