As much as I hate him, and don’t want to talk to him, and pray he never wonders about me, my brain can’t stop reminding me of him. I guess a lot of years will do that to you where it’s going to take a minute to get over a person. But I wish it was a faster process Even though we cut ties and he told me and our friends he cried over me—I couldn’t believe it. He made me feel so numb and unwanted in our time together that I just couldn’t imagine he felt any sort of loss over me. I mean, wouldn’t he have tried to improve to have kept me around then? “You realize the good you had by the time it’s gone” or something like that. But I don’t want to know if he realized that. I don’t want to know if he thinks of me, or hates me, or wishes for me to come back. He sure as hell before and after didn’t act like he did. It’s so annoying to have to be in his presence in my own mental space when I wouldn’t even be in the same room as him if I could help it.