I struggle alot with empathy and sympathy for certain things and it makes people think I'm selfish and cold. I just can't feel sympathy for my dad/aunt losing their parents at 60, when I lost my mom at 12. Of course I'm sad my grandparents died but they lived a good and full live while my mom didn't. I feel bad for my dad losing the love of his life but not his mom. When I saw my aunt crying at the funeral all I thought was stop sniffling. This mostly stems from the fact they expected me to just figure everything out myself when mom passed away. Some stuff I view as just straight up neglect. I was 12 just scheduling and going to my doctors appointments myself. Now I look back on it how did everyone think this was okay?? How did my dad, other relatives and even my general practitioner watching me show up for everything alone at 12 was okay?? I'm mad no one put me first after she passed away so I've learned and forced myself to put me first because no one else did. I'm not sorry