I have a genetic condition that causes me constant physical pain, leaves me in a wheelchair, and makes me need around the clock care. It started getting bad in my teens and will only get worse. I'm frustrated that I can't run anymore, that I can't climb, that I need so much help, that I can't work even though I have passions for things like cooking and hairdressing. I was supposed to go to college, then I got diagnosed and my health tanked, now I'm here, In my apartment, being taken care of by my partner, feeling like a burden on my family, friends, lover, and country. The only things keeping me sane are video games and weed and even those are starting to seem mundane. I want a life where I can be the provider, where my partner can stay at home and be comfortable while I go achieve my passions. I want to be able to clean my own apartment, I want to be able to give myself a bath, or take a walk, or dance. It feels like I'm trapped in a sinking ship