Rant #21623

I don't understand why I can't cry now. I used to cut myself to stop myself from crying but now it's been 58 days since I last did it and things have been so hard lately. I really want to cry right now but I physically can't. I can barely get a few tears out and I don't know if it's because of the cutting or suppressing it but now the one time I want to sob and bawl my eyes out I can't and I don't understand why I cried when I didn't want to but now when I need to I can't.