I can't stop myself from wondering... What would happen if I didn't wake up tomorrow? How quickly would they move on? How quickly would they forget about me? Would I finally find peace? Or would I find more pain? Is it worth it? It feels like it. We'll all die someday anyway. I've held on for so long. I tell myself it'll get better. Sometimes it does, but it never lasts. I see no point. We don't last. What's the difference if I'm gone tomorrow, or if I'm gone later? Slow and steady wins the race, but what if I'm only going slow because the wind is pushing against me? What if I have to be fast? I'm supposed to be fast so I can win. So I can finish school, so I can get a good job, so I can make enough money to live, so I can do what? Repeat the process over and over while trying to use that money for happiness? I'm not fast. I'm standing still while everyone else speeds ahead. I give up on the race of life. I'm sorry.