My mom is in the ICU. I just feel horrible. She hasn’t been able to sleep well since she’s on machines. She wanted me to stay the night because she feels more calm with me here. I just feel so bad. And I wish I could do something and I wish this wasn’t happening to her. I just wanna go back to yesterday night when I was talking to her about my stupid game. I’ve been trying to keep going even thought I’ve felt so so bad already recently but I just feel horrible. Just when I think things couldn’t get worse. I honestly don’t know how people bring themselves to believe in god in a world like this. My mom will be okay. I won’t “hope” she will. I know she will. I know she prefers to think like that. I love my mom so much. She’s really the only thing keeping me here. I keep thinking the world will just stop and rush to help her and help me but the world just keeps spinning. I’ve never felt so small.