Intrusive thoughts really lead me to think my mom's a bitch (even typing it I feel so wrong), which is kind of valid on her part. I know I don't mean it. She's a nice and loving mom. I mean, I often let my emotion take controls over me, and I know that violent thoughts may calm me down after an arguement, it really isn't a good way to cope but goddamn, sometimes she's just...insufferable? Too much. Mom, I know (or maybe not) you tease me to lighten the mood, but I hate it, okay? I fucking hate it. It gets under my skin and I feel like I can do nothing to stop it because you're my mom and I love you, but I also can't help but...dislike that part of yours. I know I'm kind of a shy and withdrawn kid, and you want me to speak my thoughts. I don't fucking wanna do it. I don't. It irks me. And I hate it. And I don't wanna rell you reasons bc it sounds so fucking ridiculous out loud. ...I'm sorry.