im about to say something horrible and im sorry if it upsets people i know it's disgusting of me sometimes i wish my partner would attempt suicide instead of just threatening it so other people offer me support. it's so much suffering in silence talking them down with a smile and kindness and trying to keep their health in check and it's starting to break me down. im so physically and emotionally exhausted but no one offers relief because if they're not living with someone who constantly threatens suicide they don't understand how terrifying the words are and how much effort goes into stopping it. its been like this for years im 31 and they're 29 im not dealing with teen angst here and its a weight i can't bear anymore but there's no one to help because people don't understand the issue. i don't want them to die but i want someone to help me before i drown after being an emotional cheerleader and weight bearer for far too long and i can't see any other way out