i'm not me anymore man. i drink so much i vape im never asleep i can't sleep i don't sleep i feel like fucking narrator from fight club lmao 😭. i have a boyfriend and he's amazing but he smokes a lot and im not into that like he smokes green and he does it loads and he's always partying and ive just never been with someone like that so it's different for me. we're medium distance so it's kinda hard to keep up with what's going on in his life. i also feel like i just do not feel emotions anymore even if i try to care about stuff i just don't?? it's so weird. i have chest pains from vaping i rlly wanna quit but i can't. i feel alone. i'm tired. i wanna sleep but refuse to. i hate my job, it sucks. i have like 2 friends and i never hang out with them. i don't feel like myself anymore. the alcohol is ruining my memory, all my memories are blurry.