sometimes it feels like everybody else is in another world. drifting places i can't follow. like chunks of ice breaking apart and hitting the stormy sea. like ships sailing away. like leaves falling from the trees. and sometimes i wonder...do they hurt as much as i do about it? do they even miss me? are they already putting me aside, like we don't matter, like it's a lost cause? are four years, three, two, one, going to be lost, in just one more year? am i going to be just another girl they used to know? i miss them. i love them. and yet. i want to pull away. because i don't trust it. i don't trust that it's not going to hurt later. i want to pull away before they do. i want to pull away before they have to tell me. and the most messed-up part. i'm damn jealous. of the ones they get to be with everyday in class. and they're so busy. and i barely ever see them. and they have classes with people who don't even want them and i would sell my soul for just a minute together.