I hate being alone but at the same time I love being alone I'm guessing because I've been alone for most of my life but its like a Stockholm syndrome to me I don't know why but I can never not be alone I always either find people I can connect with but I'm unable to stay in contacted or I find a group but I feel like I'm a outsider either I join a group that's been together for a while or I'm just not interesting to pay attention to. yet I don't like having attention to me nor do I like sharing about myself because of past relation ship issues. when I do open up to people I feel that care for me I feel like I get tossed aside I hate it yet I like the feeling even tho it hurts it feels nice.. warm and yet I dislike people. I try to be like y'all and I get that I'm quite doesn't mean I'm not interested I just like being to myself most of the time idk I just dont know why life is like this I'm not weird I know social queues I talk normal I know to keep thing to myself I'm just tired help