Sometimes I just sit or lay on my bed and think about how much of a horrible child I am, I constantly wish I was better in every way possible. I wish I could be skinnier, kinder, smarter, prettier and more motivated. I feel like I'm such a screw up and I know I'm a screw up, I've known all my life that I am. My eating has gotten worse, my mental health has gotten worse and my hygiene too. Sometimes I wish I was able to shapeshift or something because I feel like with how much I hate myself that's the main thing weighing my mental down. I've had so many problems with eating since I was younger and still to this day it still affects me so much, I just wanna feel beautiful but I know I'm not beautiful, I always feel like a pig with makeup up. I also know I'm a horrible child as I can't do anything at all, my parent asks me to do things and I don't do anything, I wish I was a better child to them. I hate everything about myself to the point I'm losing myself in that hate I can't get out it