I don't know what to say. I just wanted to tell someone that I'm ashamed, and may have or may not hurt my parents' reputation tonight. We were having dinner with this pastor, my father was given the task to accompany him. And somehow, he ended up telling a long story about how he become a pastor. We listened. And finally during the end of the conversation, my dad said that I have similar experience dealing with something traumatic too. And said that I could see "ghosts" because tbh, i got diagnosed with something that can cause hallucinations. And somehow, in the end, I ended up crying infront of everybody. I don't want to discuss that side of me anymore. Never to my family, never to people that are "close". I have a long history with it, and somehow the flashbacks all of the traumatic things just happen to me and my father expected me, far as I can tell, to tell it to the whole table. I just cry and stay silent like that. That accompanying job is supposed to represent church.