I do all of this to myself and I still have the audacity to feel bad and upset about it. I ruin every single relationship and friendship because for some reason I can’t even respond to messages half of the time. And yet I still want close relationships. I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t know how I can want to be around people and isolate myself at the exact same time. I just feel like an awful person, it feels like I annoy the friends I do still have. And I don’t know why I broke up with him, I felt like I still loved him and I still feel like I do. I want him back but I can’t express those feelings because I know he doesn’t feel the same. I did this to myself and it’s torturing me not being able to talk to anyone about it. I complained about him all of the time, I acted like he was annoying and terrible but now I realize it was me. I was the problem the whole time, I’ve always been the problem. I don’t know why I’m like this, I feel so empty inside.