wow. i feel better venting. ive never been able to do something like this before. i feel like, idk, maybe, even if its false... that maybe, just maybe, one day, ill feel truly happy and peaceful. like i can change my name, and my hair, and have people refer to me with they/them, and not she/her. oh well. ive always been told im too optimistic. whoevers out there... i hope that future happens for you. where everything will finally, truly be okay :)