Why am I always background noise? To my friends online, my friends irl, my family, and even my boyfriend, all I am is background noise. Why does everyone always dismiss me so easily? Why can't my friends take me seriously? If I try to talk I get dismissed all because I'm schizophrenic. I can't stand myself, why am I so ugly and annoying? Why can't I be normal? I don't know how much more I can take. I want to keep going, to fight but I just don't have the energy. I'm trying, I really am but my meds aren't working anymore and I feel so alone. I'm sick. I'm so sick of it. My home doesn't feel like a home anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I wish I wasn't so scared to end everything.
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