I'm sending this into the nothingness where nobody I know can receive it. I wish I wasn't the way I am. I already hate myself as much as anyone possibly can at this point. I try to keep to myself and accept I'll die alone. I also know I tend to bring people around me down. So why? "This smell reminds me of your cologne that I like" It's been like 3 years ago since I've used the cologne... When I was fooled into thinking she loved me when she said it out loud. Right before she shattered me. What purpose drives this? Control? Manipulation? Kick me down further? We've both done so many things to hurt each other, and I don't understand bringing up things that meant something to me, when she was only leading me on when it happened. I hate that I can't get away and find another job. If I stand my ground and try to move on, she convinces management I'm an issue. I lose hours and get lectured. I'm broken and she takes advantage of it. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore...