i wasted my teenage years with addictions. i'm 18 and relapsed again with my ED and i just don't know what to do. i don't want help and i don't know why because no matter what, restriction or overeating, i'm ruining my body. i've been doing so good in recovery and i can't take the physical chronic issues that come with this disorder. it's so embarrassing to admit since i'm an adult that i feel like i have to starve myself. i feel so weak and embarrassed to the point where i wanna take drugs again too. i hate self loathing but i feel like i'll always be stuck in this loop
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