the love feels so absent. I love you feels like it’s falling on deef ears. The hugs feel forced, waking up in the middle of the night realizing your cuddling with me and letting go as if I’m a disease hurts. Me laying on your chest and you turning me over cuts knowing you rolled to the other side so my back is against yours. Waking up with so much hate in your words knowing if I stay in bed I’m fucked and if I crawl out I’m fucked too. My heart hurts, I feel numb and I feel dumb for feeling this way.