It’s been two years now since i was sa’d. It happened over the span of two days, same guy, once when i was alone and another time when i was with a friend. I thought by now i would have been able to move on or that the weight of it would have eased slightly, but i still find myself having nightmares about it that ruin my whole month. I used to smoke w,,d to disappear from it all even just momentarily but that became a dependence that i’m trying my best not to fall back into, but when days like this come by it’s suffocating to be sober. It kills me that i didn’t prosecute him or tell anybody about it sooner. When i did come forward about it my ex assumed i’d just had sex and regretted it. Recently i discovered he has a youtube channel where he makes shitty found footage horror content and it’s all filmed in the same woods he assaulted me in. I hate this town. I want to move as far away as possible. It’s hard to move on when every time i go out I'm scared i’ll see him again.