tw ed & smoking mentioned everything is just too much. i keep telling myself i'll stop. i'll stop going to the toilet after every meal. i'll stop smoking. i'll stop procrastinating. i'll stop waking up late. none of it ever comes to fruition. i can't help myself no matter how much i try. i can't do anything. i've had an ed for nearly 4 years and i still can't lose weight. i still come to school late every day. i barely even passed my classes last year and i still couldn't bring myself to do my work despite seeing my grade drop every day. i can't even help others. i just make everything worse. i can't comfort people. i barely even feel empathy towards others no matter how hard i try. i'm unreliable and a burden to everyone in my life. it's not my responsibility, i know. i just can't help but think that if i can't do that, what's the point? why do anything anymore? why try to improve? i'll just have to accept that i'll be an ugly, useless, fat chud for the rest of my life.