I won’t let anyone help me. I’m so private with the things that go on in my life, I can’t help but protect myself in that way. I just want to isolate myself. I don’t think I deserve to be in a relationship because of how badly I’m doing mentally. I don’t want to admit it’s not working out. I can’t talk to a single person about it. I feel so alone with it all. It’s a long distance relationship, I’ve known this person for over a decade too. I don’t expect others to understand it. Things have been pretty bad though since we’ve gotten together and I’m only hurting myself and them. It’s so hard when you love someone but you start to question if it’s worth it to be with someone who causes you stress and pain, I cause them the same by being so distant and avoidant. They tell me they would never give up on me. I don’t even believe that sometimes.