I feel so sad I cant remember to take my medication because all i do is get high and lay in my room on my phone or my laptop. I dont remember how i ended up this way but im so mad at myself for it all the time. I feel like i have no idea what im doing and im only getting dumber and more confused about everything. I love frankie so much but i feel like I ruined our relationship. Ive stolen weed from them so many times just because im chasing a temporary feeling of relief. Literally any second im not high it feels like im gonna have a panic attack and all the food around me feels inedible i get so sick thinking about eating but I'm so hungry. I keep having nightmares of just horrible situations that make me feel so scared and confused by the time i wake up and the worst pat is that most of the time, frankie or vaughn or ken or marcos gets mad at me for some reason in the dream. Or if I'm unlucky its my mom. The tiniest things make me want to cry now and i dont know how to control it.