Whenever parents say its their fault for not raising their child right, I feel as though, like alot of people (maybe), that this is very true. But sometimes, in rare cases, it's not. I am that case. I'm not dumb. I'm not slow. I'm more than competent and capable to do things and yet I do nothing. I consistently fail and fall behind, even though I am in perfect condition not to be. I know I am. And yet I do nothing. This self destruction is passive, silent, subtle. I watch myself fail in third person. I watch as people around me glow while i decay. People I know, physically or online seem to be, at the least, doing better than I am. I know you'll never know truly what's going on in another person's life, but it feels so convincing. I am at fault for my own failures. Sometimes I tell myself that just because I fail, does not mean I'm a failure. But maybe I am a failure.