I'm trying real hard. I've been in a constant state of lethargy for a week and a day. I'm trying to snap out of it. what botheres me the most was how lonely I felt. nobody would bat an eye at my misery. nobody would message me a "hey". I hate being the only one making an effort, I feel like a pushover. for a change, I'm listening to cheerful music, I've returned to my love for crosswords and I went outside. only thing worrying me: becoming parasocial for a boygroup I recently started listening to. it's easier than it seems to go down this road, especially when you feel lonely. I'm terrified this lethargy will turn into anger. why is this happening to me now of all times? I was doing better. I'm terrified I'll cause unpleasant situations for everyone close to me. I resent people for abandoning me and taking it out on them would be the worst solution I could come up with.