ive been really depressed lately but honestly its got to a point where i genuinely didnt feel like myself and i was scaring myself. i hate that no one else i know can relate to the level of emotions i felt. i started vaping, drinking more often and after my bf broke up with me i felt like not even hurting myself did anything. i am doing better and i started going out and hanging with friends but i am so scared to feel like that again. i feel like any bad news is just going to strike up and i dont know how ill be able to handle it. it was such a scary feeling not being able to control my own emotions and i would not wish that on anyone. ive been picking up my old hobbies and trying out new ones to feel something again. hopefully this moment in my life will pass quicker and this will all be a distant memory.