My life passed by so fast, everyone i know has done something, they've gotten hobbies or done interesting things while i simply waited. why was i waiting? who told me to wait? was i there when my friends needed me? when they were having tough times and needed help was i just waiting like usual. my life, so uneventful i can't remember it. i can't remember my childhood, i can't remember when i met my friends, i can't remember why anything is the way it is now. I can't remember who i used to be. no skills no interests no hobbys no life, sometimes i wonder if the only reason i haven't killed myself is that i've never been alive in the first place. i want to go back, i want to do something, anything. i feel like im living a lie. why do i even have friends? am i even really the same person they knew, it's as if i gained consciousness 2 years ago and everything else is a blur. i just want to be useful, i want someone to need me. im scared of my friends going away and forgetting them