I was dealt a terrible hand, but I can't just kill myself. I have to be eaten by a shark. I have to be shipwrecked, to be torn asunder at sea. I have to freeze out on the Alps. I can't die normally. I have no ambitions, I only crave my own destruction. It would be nice to distance myself from the animals around me, but ultimately, I'd rather destroy myself and the need to set hierarchy along with it.