Everything sucks. Not in just my life. Yours too. This world is fucked beyond anything I’d ever imagine. I haven’t been able to cry about anything. The only time I cry is confrontational bs, and it’s so humiliating, and I don’t think I’m able to allow myself to cry for me getting yelled at but I can’t cry about anything else. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Why can’t I just cry? Let me cry. I hate god. I’ll kill the son of a bitch if I figure out he’s actually real. My mom and dad hate the idea of me being atheist, I can’t tell them, but I’m also not even atheist. I’m not Christian. I’m not catholic. I’m some secret third thing. I hate god, but know he exists, and I know that he’s full of shit because perfection cannot exist, but I can’t accept him not being real, so I just tell myself he’s wrong, still real, just insanely wrong and terrible and I want to kill him. If I were to runaway, what’s the best country to go to? I wouldn’t want to be in America, if im committing