rumination and holding onto grudges is killing me. ive say ive gotten over a fair few, one of mine presumably moved away. most of my grudges are not the most…. mature people, so i’ve been trying to treat it with the same maturity they give me. as in, if they think it’s stupid and doesn’t matter, then it should be stupid and not matter to me. and the thing is i don’t really hate them. i care a little too much. i often fantasize about what i could’ve done to make it better. or have a little savior complex moment here and there. but it’s not like these situations are gravely serious. it’s always an offhand comment, i mean i wouldn’t mind if i never saw them again. but i do. and i wouldn’t lie if i said it doesn’t make me anxious. ive gotten deadass beaten by people in the past for literally no reason so i think thats partly why