I love you, mom. You never loved me, I know, but I still do, and I wish I didn't. I was your first born. Your stillborn baby that ended up living anyway. I'm sorry life treated you horribly mom. I'm sorry you were abused and assaulted. I'm sorry dad never treated you like a person and only made you worse. And I'm sorry for being the kid you had when you were only 21 and were hoping to be a profiler after college. I'm sorry you had two more kids after that which you made me raise. I wish we got along. I always wondered why everyone had such good relationships with their mom. How they could say anything to her. But if I told you how I felt, I'd get threatened and screamed at, beat if I was unlucky, which was most of the time. I remember when you told me that when you held me that day after the C-section, you said you'd protect me from everyone and everything. That you would never be like your mom. I wish you weren't just like your mom. I'll always be your little angel. I'm sorry.