whenever someone asks me what my career choice is, i always tell them "game designer", but that's a lie. in truth i don't have a future, my only real plan is to aimlessly wander through wherever life takes me, maybe pretend to apply for jobs at local gaming companies here and there only to get rejected thanks to the awful job market. even if i did manage to get hired into one, with my personality, i know i wont even enjoy working at any company ever, yet im too unambitious and unmotivated to start my own project (which is what my businesswoman mom encourages me to do, sorry to disappoint you mom). now with the added sprinkle of depression, i genuinely cannot see myself living past the age of 35, everyday i suffer from passive suicidal ideation and wish i never existed in the first place. as of now the only things keeping me alive are my 2 cats that i love with my whole heart, and my parents who would be heartbroken if i ever died before them.