Mannnn, I was trying to make a joke to my bsf but she thought I was actually confessing and like I do have feelings for her tbh but I was lwk joking then, she said she just sees me as a friend, and that hurt. I've known we had no chance since she's straight but getting rejected still hurts, I'm trying to tell her I was just joking... But she isn't checking my texts, I understand her tbh, I was the one being weird. Genuinely I mess everything up I hate being a lesbian why can't I just be normal and not develop feelings for my straight bsf, she's the only one I trust, I can't afford to lose her, genuinely the only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because of her but now I'm messing things up. And now I'm just stressing about this and idk , this probably sounds dumb, right?