Rant #13006

I think I might be suicidal and may have depression but I don't show enough signs so idk? I sometimes get panic attacks which make it hard to sleep and practicing my instrument also gives me a lot of anxiety because I feel like I'm a fraud. I don't deserve my first chair spot. I'm not good enough. I can't sight read shit, or play with a good tone, or play anything higher than clarion G.