I got a house for free and it's turning into my biggest nightmare. I'm so stupid to fix anything. My brother went into the military and he hates me for being lazy, and he's right. This should be the biggest blessing of my life and now I can't stand to even think about it. So I just don't think at all. My mind is fried. I run away from my thoughts to the point it feels weird to actively think. I am so tired of living. I won't kill myself. But I wish I would just die already