I am so filled with hatred and envy every time I see somebody who's life is what I dream of. It gets to a point where all I do is try and hone my skills, appearance, personality just to be a fraction of what they are. I dream of a life so close yet so far away from me, as I am doomed to see, hear, HOPE, but not feel. Because how could I ever experience that life when our beginnings were completely different? And yet I feel so irritated, so annoyed, when they even dare to vent or complain about their life, because I indeed would kill for that kind of upbringing, that kind of skill, that kind of personality, their level of empathy that I will never be able to reach. My whole existence surrounds these thoughts, about what could've been, yet wasn't. Years have gone down the drain because my focus was always about how perfect their life was, and never about the fact that maybe my life isn't so bad unlike some others. I do not like it in the slightest. Why was I forced to be, FEEL like this?