i feel like i am always trying to define or find myself. i think i hate when i look in the mirror and see / realize that my old self is still with me because i don’t want to accept that im still that person who’s not okay i believe that i have never been okay and just learned to live with it , i was genuinely happy a bit ago and i was so thankful to be and i think im just trying to hold onto something that i am not as happy with anymore i feel like i attached myself to this person and i wont know myself if i leave them but i know that id be so much happier yet i have so much hope why does it hurt to love every time and why do i have to be so patient and get hurt over and over to feel loved , why do i have to hurt so bad to feel understood why cant i accept not being understood and that i understand myself and do what i know is right