I went out with a girl and the date was amazing, she said it too, but via chat she was veey slow at replying (probably her ADHD). Anyway yesterday she sent this "hey so i thought about it and i think i should probably work on myself some before i try to date properly. i did have a lovely time and you seem like a great guy, i just think it isn't fair to you to do this if im not sure about it". I understand it, I'm glad she is taking care of herself, but it sucks, I'm crushing so hard for her, she's pretty, funny, smart and nerdy, I couldn't ask for anything better... And now its... Gone... I know her reply was not total rejection but... i kinda wish it was... Because now I still have hope... That stupid little part of me that doesn't think I'm deserving of love, will look at this as evidence, that ugly part of me will make me get an even bigger vrush on her... Because it doesn't think I could love someone that loves me back.