So i hate myself a lot and i take it out on my mom which she doesnt deserve, but i also feel like she isnt trying to understand me and is just trying to act like she does understand. I end up hating myself more because of this. I also am questioning my gender which makes me hate myself too because half of my family is MAGA and all say its wrong so if I do end up being trans I will lose Half of the people I love very much. Its gotten to the point where i've thought about taking my life two times. I feel like no one likes me no matter who they are. Everytime im with my friends i end up feeling left out too like im a burden and i feel like im the backup friend and that im no ones favorite. My mind does this thing where it makes me think that everyone around me is talking about me in a bad way and every time my mind makes me think this it makes me hate myself more. The worst part is that im too afraid to tell anyone because I think that everyone will just say that im begging for attention