probably the most embarrassing moment of my life was when my mom went through my computer (that I had no password on) in 9th grade and she found all my self-written fanfics and certain types of videos in my browser history. lol i'm cringing so hard. I still think about it a lot and feel like something is deeply disturbed about me for being so horny, even though I'm a virgin and don't want to sleep around. I can't believe I wasn't immediately institutionalized or that I am still allowed to breathe peoples' air. but also my mom is an extremely strict christian and the rest of my family is atheist and STILL finds a way to shame sex/emotions in general. they don't even need god and they are not like me, writing gross crap in their free time (I stopped immediately). in fact I don't know anyone else like me. and if it was a lot of people, then maybe the world isn't as functional and wonderful as I think it is. no way this is normal, I'm still so ashamed. I shouldn't be breathing air