I don't want to go on stage I don't want to perform I feel awful but I don't know how to tell that to my directors and I feel like I'm just going to ruin the show if I just look upset the whole time. I have no idea what to do. I just want to disappear. But I'm scared that my family will find out and I don't want to talk to them about it because I hate talking about my feelings like this. I'd rather be dead rn