I hate myself so much. I see my older sister (who apparently seems to hate me for no reason) treat my cousins better than she has ever treated me. All my life she has been emotionally and physically abusive towards me (I am MUCH younger than her, I am still a minor and she is 20) - my whole life. What the hell.. I just wanted to have an older sister who would be caring towards me but it's never. She yells and insults me saying that I should just cut myself more and that she wished I was never here in the first place while she turns around and treats my cousins as the older sister I had never gotten to see and it's all because I'm ugly in her eyes while they are much more good looking. I wish I was pretty my life would've been so much easier. For my 13th birthday I will soon end it.