Right now I cannot think and I cannot talk and every time I do I can't I just can't I can't even start the conversation because it will get serious and that's all that they will think of me when we talk even if they don't say it or show it I know I know and now I'm having really hard thoughts and I'm not sure what to do I just really want to tell someone but everyone is busy or struggling or I don't want to burden them with it I can't even tell them how I feel now because it's gonna be like walking around eggshells with me when they talk I want to be a normally seen person who tells problems and everyone forgets about it I want everyone to hear my issues and then wipe their memory and I really REALLY want to I REALLY REALLY want to I DON'T even know why because I'm not struggling I just really really want to and I hate eating now but I still do it so nobody knows and I'm projecting more and I'm ruder and I'm a woman too so they're just gonna think oh her period's close go AWAY