i wrote about someone else like around 11 horus ago :/. it’s actually affecting me so hard right now. i have this huge lump in my throat, my stomach has a huge pit in it, and my heart hurts and it’s beating so fast :(. i get so distracted and i can’t focus. this is genuinely mega hell for me rn. i can’t get my mind off of him and this stupid situation and i want to go back to friends, but at the same time i dont?? i think we just fumbled our entire friendship and im sad. i can’t distract myself from this. listening to music always helps me, but this time it doesnt . the only thing that helps me is talking to my friends and just yap and yap and yap, but we could only keep up the conversation for so long. i genuinely cant get my mind off of this. i need help. i cant imagine dating this guy but it’s genuinely so awkward with us now. i just spam send insta reels, hoping to change things back to normal. it’s impossible to avoid. all i hope now is just for things to go back the way it was.